Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
