so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
