One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
