Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's just like the Real World with babies
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
