You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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