It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Edward fifth and chaser hands
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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