So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you win again, gameday.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
