There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
