The best revenge is premature balding
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So squirting runs in the family.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
