i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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