covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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