Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
