fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
