Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
