why didn't you poke me back
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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