I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
