shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
