Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
