I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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