i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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