No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize