We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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