3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need moral support for this bender
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
