Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
