take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
