So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
