So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
