look no pants
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
