Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize