That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
