If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize