please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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