he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
my poor anus
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
