I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
