i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
