White coat. Heels.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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