i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
