I skipped work to stalk him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We have started to decorate penises.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
