He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
