It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Someone shit on the floor
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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