mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
