Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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