Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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