What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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