I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize