haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Screwed.edu
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
