They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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