yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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