Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
