oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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