I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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