pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
