Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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