Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
