They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
