Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
