Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
