As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
