Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
