We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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