Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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