i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
