I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize