My vagina just recognized that song.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
