my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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