I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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