...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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