is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
