Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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